Hiro was working on his computer one night. He was the only one working in the room. He worked at a big company and since he was not good and doing his work fast, he was always the one that had to work even after everyone went home. He was a new employee and he had trouble doing his work. There was a big, important essay he had to turn into his boss by tomorrow.
The clock will almost strike 11 P.M. Hiro decided to take a break.
He went to buy a can of coffee. As he was drinking, he thought his wife would be worried about him so he tried to tell her by sending a mail from his cell-phone. He couldn’t find it. He noticed he had forgotten his cell-phone today. He had no other choice than to mail her from his laptop. He went back to his office and told her his boss promoted him to a better position.
As he was typing, one advertisement came into his eyes. It was as if the advertisement was meant to be there just for Hiro. The advertisement said, 「Do you want to know how to write an essay as fast as you can imagine?」At first, he thought it was a fraud or some kind of swindle. He stared at the advertisement as he was looking at his angry boss. He really wanted to finish his essay as soon as possible. He suffered to choose if he was going to click the advertisement or not. His feeling of wanting to finish the essay was starting to overlap the expectation of a fraud or a swindle. He finally decided to click the advertisement. He clicked the advertisement.
Suddenly there came up a screen that only said DOWNLOAD at the middle of the page. He stopped as he stopped before he opened up this screen. He decided to do anything since he entered the site. He put his mouse cursor on the DOWNLOAD and clicked. He watched the download bar fill up as time passed. When the download was almost finished, he was so curios at what he was downloading. The download finished. Hiro boot the software. There showed up the same writing he was writing on his Microsoft Word.
“This is unnatural.” Hiro said.
On the screen, the computer typed, 「this is unnatural.」He was amazed. At this moment, he knew what he had downloaded. He got used of using this software right away and started to speak and everything was typed on the screen. He had 500 words to go. 5 minutes passed…he only had 200 words to go… He finished the last 500 words in just 10 minutes!! He couldn’t believe he found something that he was dreaming about in his dreams.
He printed it out and brought it to work the next day. He was waiting for the boss’ call. He was called and gave his boss the essay. His boss couldn’t believe Hiro had finished the essay in just one night. The boss looked very happy. Hiro was happy too. Later on, when he had to write an essay, he used this magical software and made everyone astonished.
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nice!
I really like your story!!
When I first read the title and the first paragraph, I couldn’t even guess what was going to happen in the end, so it was really fun to read. I wish I had that magical software too…
and thank you for your comment on my story! I’m not good at writing stories, so I really appreciate that you gave me some advice!!
hi, takafofo
When hiro was downloading the software in the story,
I thought that this story might be a mystery when i was reading the first half.
I felt that something bad is going to happen to hiro later.
However, it did not. It ended happily!!
I liked the way how you showed as a mystery, but was a happy story.
This story will not happen in real life, but it made feel that if this happened,
I will not hesitate writing an essay.
It was very easy to read, and the length was perfect.
The fourth paragraph described the protagonist’s feelings very well.
The idea of the software was very unique, but I thought it is not that efficient. The speed of talking does not make such a difference to typing. Imagination is what makes the essay hard to write and finish, not the speed.
Hello Takafoto,
I like to read your story .If this story is ture, I think the work that we do, will become easy. And we can use time to do another things we want.
dear Takafofo
Your short story was very easy to read. The length was perfect as in it wasn’t too long so that the reader would get bored and too short so that the reader wouldn’t be satisfied of what they just read.
The idea of a software like this is cool and maybe in the future things like this will actually be made. Your examples, such as “he was always the one that had to work even after everyone went home” made it easy for me to image the situation and type of character he is.
I enjoyed your story.
Thank you for the comment!
I will write a another story and, it will be fiction too.
Please look foward to it.
Thanks
Dear Takafofo,
I believe your story is well structured and written. I would like to comment about the body of the story though, where it gets a little bit tedious, but other than that it was an interesting idea, where any student(or in case a working man) would dream of having this particular device.
Pen Name: genmaeda
Thanks!
I am planning to write another story so please look forward to it!
Please leave a comment!
C U!!
Hi Takafoto,
Great story, you asked me to comment on it for you, and here I am, a little late.
One tip to make your story even better is to look at the way that you start each line of your story. The majority are ‘He’. Your story would flow better if you started some of these lines differently. The following is your third paragraph, reworked, have a look.
Feeling the sting of weariness in his eyes, Hiro decided it was time for coffee. Grabbing his coat he darted across the road, purchasing a can from the open all hours. Clipping the top, its strong aroma assailed his nostrils and he recalled the cafes and coffees he used to drink at, with his wife, now he never seemed to have the time. Thinking of her, he reached into his pocket, might as well brace himself for her anger, it was better than her worry. His fingers caressed the thin fabric of his pocket – no phone – an image of it sitting on his desk at home flashed across his eyes. Resigned he knew he would have to go back to the office and send a mail from his laptop.
The main difference is that some of the sentences start with feelings, they set you up for the way the character is going to react. Hope this is helpful.
Cheers
Rach
Your story is cool because everybody wishes to have a software like that. Such a software would definitely change people’s lives dramatically, from scholars to workers.
Thanks for the comment!
I always thought about this software when I use microsoft word. lol
I believe we can make such a software like this.(Dont you to?? haha)
I am planning to write a new story so please look forward to it!
c u